Meeting Your Partner: Does How You Meet Matter for Lasting Love?

/ Couples Corner Counselling/

Meeting Your Partner: Does How You Meet Matter for Lasting Love?

Modern relationships are shaped as much by technology as by chance. You’ve likely heard couples share tales of how they first met—at a friend’s birthday, bumping into each other at a café, or swiping right from the comfort of their living rooms. In today’s world, with online dating becoming the norm, couples may wonder: Does the way you meet your partner influence how satisfied you feel in your relationship later on?

Let’s dig into what a recent, pretty eye-opening study found, and what it means for relationships (including yours).

So, What Did the Researchers Discover?

Researchers led by Dr. Marta Kowal recruited over 6,600 adults in relationships from all corners of the globe. Their goal was simple: to understand how the initial meeting—online or offline—impacts ongoing satisfaction, intimacy, and commitment between partners.

Online vs. In-Person: Who Comes Out Ahead?

Here’s what they found: On average, couples who met online said they felt less satisfied, less “in love,” and less committed, compared to those who met in real life. The gap was biggest for commitment—and seemed stronger for men and for couples over 33. For younger couples (and women), that difference was a bit smaller, but it’s still there.

Now, before you start worrying if your relationship is “doomed” because you met your partner on an app, let’s take a breath. Many couples who met online are thriving, happy, and deeply committed. The research simply shows an average trend, not a guarantee.

Why Might Couples Who Meet Online Face Challenges?

Dating online is great for meeting new people you’d never cross paths with otherwise, but this study points out a few things to think about:

  • People who meet virtually often come from different backgrounds—schools, cultures, beliefs. While diversity can enrich a relationship, it can also introduce challenges in aligning values or lifestyles.

  • The Choice Overload Problem: The endless stream of potential matches on dating platforms can make people second-guess their choices, always wondering if there’s someone better out there. 

  • And then, there’s profiles—online profiles might not truly reflect a partner’s real-life personality or habits. Sometimes expectations don’t quite match reality, and disappointment sneaks in.​

So, What Should Couples Do With This Information?

If you met online (or are dating online now), you might be thinking, “Great, so what am I supposed to do about it?” Here’s the hopeful part: You get to write your own story—how it begins isn’t nearly as important as how you nurture it moving forward.

Here are some ideas that can help couples—especially those who met online—beat the statistics and build solid, happy relationships:

  • Talk about your values, goals, and daily routines. If something feels off, say so early instead of letting resentment build.

  • Make shared experiences a priority. Try something new together—such as travel, making a new recipe or tackling a DIY project. Fresh memories bond couples.

  • Watch out for the “there might be someone better” trap. Once you’ve chosen each other, lean all the way in. No app is going to show you what makes your partner unique to you.

  • Find the stuff you DO have in common—interests, habits, dreams. Celebrate the differences, but nurture those shared spots.

  • Be vulnerable, even (especially) when it feels hard. Online dating can make it easy to put up walls. Take them down! Honest communication is everything.

  • Sometimes, talking with a therapist helps. There’s no shame in it—therapy gives you tools for better communication and deeper connection.

Looking on the Bright Side

Here’s what really matters: We’re living in a time where the “rules” for relationships are getting rewritten every day. Sure, online couples run into some unique challenges, but they also have a ton of opportunities to learn, grow, and build their own kind of connection.

Whether you met standing in line at the grocery store in a dating app chat, your relationship can thrive. It’s all about what happens day-to-day—how you show up, listen, forgive, and laugh together.

"If you’re feeling unsure or worried about how your relationship started, know this—it’s not the beginning, but the journey you build together that truly shapes your love."


Looking for Professional Support?

If you feel your relationship could use some extra support, we’re here to help. Our experienced couples therapists can provide guidance and tools to strengthen your connection. Reach out anytime to learn more or book a session. Your relationship deserves the care it needs to thrive. 

You can book a session with one of our experienced couples therapists directly: https://thecouplescorner.janeapp.com/ or learn more about our practice and what we have to offer: https://www.couplescornercounselling.com/ 

References:

Kowal, M., et al. (2025). “Meeting partners online is related to lower relationship satisfaction and love: Data from 50 countries.” Telematics and Informatics.